GettingStarted
The transition from not being a parent to being a parent is one that many many people find to be very shocking. You read about it, but the experience of being utterly depended on 24x7 and with the dawning realization that 18 or 24 years is a really long time, has its horrifying aspect. Often, after a few months, the people doing many hours of child-care start to be very interested in meeting other people in the same boat.
I am the admin for a listserv for parents in the area, and we've had a lot of pregnant people or people with tiny babies join. I always want to say, "You won't need anything from the listserv for a good few months (which will seem like a long time from now to you)." For the adults, the first while of parenting is nothing but a giant shock as you are sliced into smaller and smaller pieces, realizing the full import of twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, without end. And having the final say over an utterly helpless life for whom you would happily cut off your arm but with whom you cannot communicate. Fortunately at some point the infallible method to solve your apparent riddle becomes obvious.
I must explain it with a metaphor. If you imagine your normal energy or life force as water, and what we call our self as a bag of water which can be fuller or emptier, then the trick to kids is to take a knife out and slash the bag and pour out the water onto your family. When the water is gone and it is an easy day, it will be nap time or even bed time. Often, though, it will just be 2 in the afternoon. Then you just get out the handy kitchen knife and cut the bag into little pieces and hand them out (if you have three kids or great wisdom from some other source, you probably make paper boats or paper hats out of the pieces of bag). On your face is a smile and a gentle laugh at your old idea of being limited. At some point another day or another adult shows up, and before you even mull over what happened, there is within you a new bag of life force to pour out.
What this pouring of water out means varies as the situation demands. Sometimes a baby just needs to be held for a few days or weeks to help it adjust to the oddity of life out here. Sometimes their pinky toe is twisted by their cute little sock and you have to trust their crying is something important until you strip off all their clothes and find the poor little toe.
I am the admin for a listserv for parents in the area, and we've had a lot of pregnant people or people with tiny babies join. I always want to say, "You won't need anything from the listserv for a good few months (which will seem like a long time from now to you)." For the adults, the first while of parenting is nothing but a giant shock as you are sliced into smaller and smaller pieces, realizing the full import of twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, without end. And having the final say over an utterly helpless life for whom you would happily cut off your arm but with whom you cannot communicate. Fortunately at some point the infallible method to solve your apparent riddle becomes obvious.
I must explain it with a metaphor. If you imagine your normal energy or life force as water, and what we call our self as a bag of water which can be fuller or emptier, then the trick to kids is to take a knife out and slash the bag and pour out the water onto your family. When the water is gone and it is an easy day, it will be nap time or even bed time. Often, though, it will just be 2 in the afternoon. Then you just get out the handy kitchen knife and cut the bag into little pieces and hand them out (if you have three kids or great wisdom from some other source, you probably make paper boats or paper hats out of the pieces of bag). On your face is a smile and a gentle laugh at your old idea of being limited. At some point another day or another adult shows up, and before you even mull over what happened, there is within you a new bag of life force to pour out.
What this pouring of water out means varies as the situation demands. Sometimes a baby just needs to be held for a few days or weeks to help it adjust to the oddity of life out here. Sometimes their pinky toe is twisted by their cute little sock and you have to trust their crying is something important until you strip off all their clothes and find the poor little toe.